


If You Could Read My Mind

by Dorothea_Greengrass



Series: Save Me [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Break Up, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2020-11-08 10:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20833754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorothea_Greengrass/pseuds/Dorothea_Greengrass
Summary: Sequel to Blame It on Me. Harry's thoughts on his relationship with Ginny and the reason for their break up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Everything belongs to J.K.R.

* * *

Cupid's arrow strikes anytime and anywhere, in the most unlikely places. I got hit in the draughty garage of the Ministry of Magic, albeit it took me some time to understand what had happened and follow my heart.

Well, I suppose I'd better tell my story from the beginning.

It was New Year's Eve 2001, Ginny and I were attending the ministry's New Year's Eve ball, the must-see event of the year of magical Britain. Not that I relished rubbing my shoulders with the who's who of magical Britain, far from that I would've loved to spend the night like I spent most Saturday nights when Ginny had a game: in my parent's hut in the Tyrolean Alps, with a nice bottle of red wine and a good book Greengrass had recommended, and listening to the sounds of the winter night in the mountains outside.

However, attending to the New Year's Eve ball was part of the agenda my friends and I had worked out. Ever since that morning in May three years ago when Voldemort's Killing Curse rebounded on my Disarming Charm and killed him, I knew this was the beginning and not the end of my story. The wizarding world hailed me as their Saviour, and I was determined to milk that to change our world and put an end to corruption and nepotism. I was on a good way, there were rumours that the Wizengamot would reward me with a seat this year, and a couple of weeks ago my boss, Gawain Roberts, had called me into his office to have a talk. I was still trying to wrap my thoughts around the outcome. The short version was that he was grooming me to become his successor - the first step on my way to a position in the Ministry of Magic where I really could bring change about. As a result I had to mingle with those in power in the ministry, to make my face known outside of the Saviour-of-the-Magical-World dragon manure and to establish connections.

So, I dressed in bespoke evening robes Greengrass had forced me to get from Twillfit and Tattings, and got ready to hobnob with the rich and beautiful of magical Britain.

Ginny foiled my plans.

She'd been less than enthusiastic when I told her about Robards' plans and the changes that meant for our life. Wasn't she happy I was well on my way to make it to the top of my profession at an unbelievably young age? After all, I supported her in her career wherever I could. It wasn't my fault that the rather violent hero-worship of her fellow Harpies and their relatives made it impossible for me to watch any of her games without being mobbed.

Yet, she'd been looking forward to the ball, and the thank you I got for the mind-blowing dress I'd bought her for the event stayed in my memory for a long time. She'd played her part to perfection during the reception when I introduced her as my fiancée to quite a lot of important people at the ministry, and I thought she'd got used to my future political plans.

I should've seen it coming, after all I'd survived my endless years with the Dursleys only because I'd developed antennas tuned to their every mood, so I somewhat prided myself on my observation skills, even though I didn't always draw the right conclusions.

In Ginny's case, my instincts deserted me. Or did I ignore them on purpose to generate the disastrous outcome? I'll probably doubt myself on this until my death bed.

Ginny's mood had changed during dinner, albeit I couldn't put my fingers on the when and why. We'd discussed this and that, as always when I got together with some of the new friends I'd made. Ron and Hermione had returned to Hogwarts for their N.E.W.T.s while I had started Auror Training at the ministry, so out of necessity I'd branched out from the small group of friends from Gryffindor I had clung to during my Hogwarts time. Nowadays former classmates from all four houses belonged to my friends.

Greengrass had started her apprenticeship at the ministry around the same time as I had started mine, albeit she worked as a Development Magician in the Department of Mysteries. Draco had introduced us to each other, and I soon found out that the area of magic she worked in was just what I needed to make Auror work easier. Never one to step back from a challenge, Greengrass had agreed to help me with the development of the magical equivalents of Muggle tools and methods the Muggle law enforcement officers used daily without giving it a second thought. We'd become good friends over our work and soon discovered we had a lot of common goals and dreams.

The Heiress of an ancient Pureblood family with a hereditary seat on the Wizengamot, Greengrass had been groomed right from the cradle to move in the circles I was about to dip my toe in. While I was still an amateur, she was already a professional in the political game, and her help and counsel was invaluable. She'd been forced by her parents to keep her family's neutral stance, albeit she'd argued with her father - to no avail - that Voldemort murdered Muggleborns and Purebloods alike, and that eventually everyone who didn't succumb to him would be in danger. After the war she was determined not to let another Voldemort rise ever again, and she soon became my most dependable supporter.

So were Neville, Susan and Ernie. The first two started at the ministry together with me, Neville as an Auror, and Susan as an assistant in the D.M.L.E. Ernie was studying to become a healer, but one day Neville and Ernie would take the hereditary seat of their families on the Wizengamot. We'd got along all right during our Hogwarts time, but never had been close. That changed over the mutual goals we had.

Others joined our little group, Ron and Hermione, of course, as soon as they entered ministry service, Terry Boot and Mandy Brocklehurst from Ravenclaw, Bill Weasley and Fleur, and even Percy and his girlfriend Audrey.

However, there was nobody I confided in so much as in Greengrass. The long hours we spent together over our test series in the bowels of the ministry had forged a close friendship between us that was hard to explain, and that we both cherished too much to discuss it with anyone else, or between each other, for that matter. We knew, that was enough.

Had Ginny taken our friendship down the wrong pipe? It seemed so; she was rather pale after my dance with Greengrass and gave us a strange look. Merlin, we were engaged, after three years she should know I'm not the kind of bloke to fool around when I'd made a commitment. And Greengrass was engaged to Vaisey, albeit I had a bad feeling about that.

True, his family was supposed to be neutral, yet there had been rumours… My Auror instincts didn't like this engagement one bit, but who was I to tell her whom she could love?

Only, she didn't choose him out of love; he was a chess piece in her political agenda. 'The Wizengamot won't take a single woman serious, Potter,' she'd told me. 'I need a husband, and I think Aaron is just the right one to mold him to fit into my plans.' I'd voiced my concerns, and she'd laughed them away and called me a naïve Gryffindor, and that was it.

Ginny was pale enough to make me worry, so I took her outside to get some fresh air. I wasn't inclined to make a spectacle out of my fiancée being unwell in front of curious ball guests, so instead of taking her to the garden of the ministry I led her through the back entrance of the ministry and through the garage where the ministry kept their staff cars, and opened the door for some fresh air.

It wasn't the most romantic place to be, but at least we were alone. Ginny shivered, so I put a Warming Charm on her, took her in my arms and brushed her cheek with my lips. 'Warm enough?'

This brought some colour back into her cheeks and she snuggled against me.

I tightened my grip around her and was just about to engage her into some light snogging when the door to the ministry at the other side of the garage banged open, followed by a staccato of high heels on concrete floor. Another set of feet, the steps longer and heavier, followed. Couldn't whoever that was find another place for their little game of tag?

'Damned, Daphne, stop!' a male voice shouted.

My heart missed a beat and everything inside of me went cold. Vaisey! Something in his voice made the muscles in my neck stiffen.

The footsteps stopped as sudden as they had burst into the garage.

'Ouch! Let go of me, Aaron!'

I exchanged a look with Ginny and turned around.

Greengrass and Vaisey stood in the middle of the garage. He had grabbed her by the upper arm with his left hand; his knuckles stood out white, and his fingernails dug into the soft flesh of her arm. Deep inside of me, a tiny, boiling spot ignited, well contained behind thick walls. How dare he manhandle her like this?

Greengrass hissed in pain. Her eyes glared at him, and she yanked her right arm away from him to get out of his steely grip - to no avail. She hissed another time, and heat flushed into her face.

Did Vaisey know in what danger he was? I'd once been exposed to Greengrass' wrath, when I made an idiotic mistake with a test series that could have blown me into the next dimension, and ever since then I took great pains never again to be on the receiving end of Greengrass' fury or her wand. Vaisey was her fiancé, he should know that even better than I did.

The overhead lights, a magical imitation of Muggle neon lights, cast an eerie, stark light on them, and gave me a good view on Vaisey's face. It was triumphant, and there was a cruel glitter in the depth of his eyes that made my stomach knot and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I released my wand from its invisible holster on my wrist. Without a doubt Greengrass was woman enough to handle the moron on her own, she knew even more nasty spells than Hermione, and contrary to my best friend had only little qualms to use them. She wouldn't thank me for my interference, as fiercely independent as she was. Yet, I didn't like the expression in Vaisey's eyes, and my Auror gut told me I'd better be safe than sorry.

At least I thought back then it was my Auror gut.

Greengrass yanked her arm yet another time.

Vaisey tightened his grip, and an even uglier expression flickered across his face. What by Hades did Greengrass see in him? He was just another Pureblood brute who thought he was entitled to exert his power over someone he thought inferior to him, as if a proud and beautiful woman like Greengrass was a piece of trumpery ware. The next moment he lunged out with his free arm and slapped Greengrass' face so hard her head flung back and she lost a few hairpins of her updo. Strands of her long hair came down and covered her face and shoulders.

Deep inside of me, the thick walls around the hot spot cracked.

'That should teach you where your place is, bitch.' Vaisey sneered at his fiancée.

Greengrass froze and stared back at him, her mouth open, and all the colour drained from her face, except for a tiny spot of red where he had hit her that grew bigger by the second, until a tiny rivulet trickled down her chin.

Vaisey was not yet finished. 'Do you think I'd tolerate that you become one of Potter's minions? That you worked together with him last year was bad enough; I won't have my future wife chum up with him. Oh, I know about the plans you made with him. Forget them. The Greengrass seat will be mine to control.'

'Only over my dead body.'

'As you wish, dear. That can be arranged - after the marriage, of course. Now let me make sure you won't remember anything of this little encounter.' He pulled his wand out of the pockets of his robes and pointed it at her. 'Ob -'

The walls inside of me shattered, hot lava erupted in my chest, burned away each sensible thought. My wand slipped in my hand, one flick and Vaisey's wand sailed through the air. Another flick, and strong ropes wrapped themselves around the arsehole, while my left hand caught his wand.

He swayed for a moment, then crashed to the ground like a felled tree. His head hit the concrete with a sickening crush that echoed through the garage, and he groaned. It was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

Greengrass' wand had slipped into her hand even before Vaisey was wrapped up completely, and she now pointed it at his groin. 'Thank you to whoever helped me,' she said, her eyes on Vaisey.

'That would have been me,' I said with a calmness I was far from feeling. Thanks to two hard years of advanced Auror training and an even harder time of chasing down the Death Eaters still on the run I'd learned how to control my emotions. The hot lava still poured out from that spot deep inside of me, but for the time being it was channelled. I strode towards her, my eyes trained on the human garbage on the ground. My heart thumped like a jackhammer in my chest, the blood roared in my ears, and I didn't dare look at her, afraid of this new sensation inside of me I didn't quite understand that night.

'Potter!' The relief in Greengrass voice was unmistakable, and a broad smile appeared on her face. 'Thank you for rescuing the damsel in distress.'

I forced a grin on my face and gave her a quick glance. She still was pale and small tremors ran through her body from the scare she'd just experienced. Yet, she held herself upright, determined not to show how shaken up she was. She really was special.

I gave her the courtesy to pretend to ignore her turmoil. 'Oh, I'm sure you would've put him in his place as soon as you got your hands on your wand.' I nudged the wrapped parcel in front of me with the tip of my dress shoe. 'What do you want me to do with him? Do you want to press charges?'

Greengrass took her lower lip between her teeth and furrowed her eyebrows. 'I'd better not,' she said at length. 'I suppose you heard him?'

I nodded. His threats had been hard to miss, and the mere thought of what he'd intended to do with her made the lava in my chest well up once more. I balled my fists until the nails dug into the palms of my hands. The pain helped to keep up a calm front.

'Well, there's no saying what nonsense he'll spout in a trial. I don't want to be a liability, Potter.'

That disarmed me, and I relaxed somewhat. 'You'll never be.' My glance fell on the man at my feet, and I tensed again. 'Well, in that case…' Something inside of me screamed to use an Unforgivable Curse at the arsehole, preferably the Killing Curse. I took a deep breath, forced the hot lava inside of me back in its channel, and shot a Stunner combined with an Obliviation Spell at him, a spell I'd created on my own.

Vaisey's eyes rolled back, and his rigid body slumped.

'You Obliviated him? What false memory did you give him?'

'That you had a big fight and hit him with a Stunner. It's up to you what you do with him as soon as he comes round.' Please, Circe, make her see reason and dump the arsehole...

Greengrass took a deep breath. 'All right.' She pointed her wand at Vaisey.

The ropes vanished, his eyes fluttered, and he groaned.

Greengrass took Vaisey's wand out of my hand and tossed it at the man on the ground. 'You'd better leave, Aaron. I've had enough of you.' With her right hand, she pulled a large sapphire ring off her ring finger. 'Oh and take that back. We're through.' The ring followed the wand.

Yessss! I almost pumped my fist into the air. She deserved much better than him.

Vaisey groped for both, pocketed the ring, and scrambled to his feet. With a sneer at Greengrass and me he turned on the spot and Apparated away.

'Good riddance,' I said and took great pains to keep the deep satisfaction out of my voice.

Greengrass made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob and slumped against me. 'I can't believe he'd used me to get his hands on the Greengrass seat.'

I clenched my jaw. 'You've used him too.' My voice sounded much harsher than I'd intended, yet I couldn't help my annoyance as the memories of the day she'd told me about her plans to marry Vaisey flooded back.

It had been one of the nights we'd stayed late at the ministry to run another test series, it was boring and tedious work, yet necessary. If we wanted to win the forces in control within the ministry and the Wizengamot over, we'd better present perfect work, mistakes wouldn't be tolerated.

'We'd best get this one finished tonight, Potter,' she said over the fish and chips I'd ordered from the _Leaky Cauldron _and that we shared right out of the greasy paper while we waited for the results of our work. 'Aaron asked me out for tomorrow night. I've got a hunch he will pop the question any day now, so I didn't dare to turn him down. He's doesn't like me spending so much time with you, anyway.'

I startled, and the chip I'd just picked up slid out of my fingers. 'You're kidding, Greengrass.'

She looked down at the meal between us and selected a piece of deep-fried fish. 'I'm not, at least not about something as important as this.'

'But… you don't love him. You said so yourself the other day, you said he's a nice enough bloke to hang around, but he's not the one.'

'No, he isn't. But how are the chances I'll ever find my fairytale prince, Potter? Aaron and I have the same background, he's easy to get along with, and I think he'll make a good husband and father. After all, I'm not getting younger.' She still didn't look at me.

'Come on, Greengrass, I don't buy that. You're twenty-one like me. I'd say you still have at least ten years in your prime, time enough to look out for Prince Charming.'

She raised her head and gave me a look I couldn't decipher and that sent a shiver down my spine. 'The Wizengamot won't take a young, single woman serious, Potter, and father's health is deteriorating. I need a husband, and I think Aaron is just the right one to mold him to fit into my plans.' There was a cold finality in her voice; she wouldn't change her decision.

Why should she? We were friends, yes, however, telling her with whom she'd better not spend her life was overstepping a line. Yet I opened my mouth, foolish Gryffindor that I was. There was something about Vaisey that had the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, something didn't ring true about him, and I'd be damned if I let my friend run into disaster without at least trying to hold her back. 'Listen, Greengrass -'

'No, you listen, Potter. The… arrangement I'll be having with Aaron is not uncommon in my circles. I was raised to have a marriage like that, and it's not as if I'm forced into this. Don't act like a naïve Gryffindor, will you?' A soft laugh accompanied her last words.

I shut my mouth. What else was there to say?

Greengrass' quivering voice brought me back to the concrete reality of the harshly lit garage of the Ministry of Magic.

'True,' she said. A sob escaped her mouth, then another, and she covered her face with the palms of her hands. 'Don't say I told you so,' she said between even more sobs.

Each one of them was like a punch to my gut. My stomach sank. 'Greengrass, I'm sorry!'

I still have no idea how it happened, the next moment she was in my arms, her face pressed into my chest, and I held her tight, my mouth next to her ear. 'Shhh, it's all right, love, I won't let him hurt you again.' She cuddled deeper into me, a sure sign how distressed she was, Greengrass had an almost inhuman self-control, this was the first time I saw her losing it, and it troubled me more than I can say. I tightened my arms around her and rubbed her back in soothing circles.

I don't know how long she sobbed in my arms. When she finally raised her head, there was a wet blotch on my dress shirt with traces of her mascara and some blood.

'I… I'm sorry.' She hiccupped.

'Don't mention it, that's what friends are for. I guess you're not in the mood to return to the ballroom?'

She nodded.

'All right, then let's get you home.' I held my arm out to her and led her out of the garage. The overhead door closed behind us at a flick of my wand, and as soon as we were out of the ministry's wards I turned on the spot and Apparated us to Cliffsend House. Greengrass lived there with her parents, and she'd invited me to have dinner with her and her parents two or three times, so I knew my destination.

Cyrus Greengrass still laboured from a curse a Death Eater had put on him with the promise there was more to come for his wife and his daughters if he didn't join Voldemort's ranks. It had been a strong means of persuasion, he'd told me the first time we met. He'd been about to give in to the demands to spare his loved ones his sufferings when Daphne and her younger sister had turned up in the Floo with the news that Harry Potter had returned to Hogwarts, and that the castle was getting ready to battle Voldemort. 'Well, the rest is history,' he'd told me with his addictive, rumbling laugh over a Firewhisky in his library after dinner.

While the curse had rendered him an invalid, it hadn't impacted his sharp mind, and he was an invaluable well of advice and insight in wizarding politics when it came to planning the first steps of my foray into the political circus.

The sprawling house on top of the cliffs near Dover was dark, except for a single Everlasting Candle burning on a spindle-legged table in the entrance hall.

Greengrass pointed towards the nightlights on the table. 'It seems my parents are still at the ministry.' She picked up one of the nightlights, lit the candle on the Everlasting Candle on the table and turned around to me to tell me goodbye. Her eyes fell on her face in the mirror across the hall, and she let out a small scream. 'Oh my god, I look like an Inferi! My parents will freak when they see me tomorrow.'

She looked nothing like that, albeit she was far from being her usual, well groomed self. Her elegant updo had come down, and her hair streamed over her shoulders in a disheveled mess. Her makeup was gone, her eyes, still puffy from her crying fit, had lost some of their sparkle. There was some dried blood in the corner of her mouth, and the first signs of a bruise where Vaisey's hand had hit her.

Like all Aurors, I am proficient in first aid and emergency field healing. A scabbed wound and a bruise don't exceed my limits, I've dealt with worse, so I slipped my wand out of its holster. 'I think I can help you there, but I need more light.'

Greengrass nodded. 'All right, follow me.'

Instead towards one of the parlours on the ground floor she walked upstairs, where I knew the bedrooms of the family to be. I followed her towards a door at the end of a long hallway. Greengrass opened the door, pulled out her wand, and gave a sharp flick that lit the sconces at both sides of the door, of the canopied bed on the opposite side of the door, and of the mirror above the vanity on the left wall of the room.

'Is that bright enough?' she asked and held the door open for me.

I answered with a mute nod. I hadn't expected to be invited into her bedroom.

'Don't get any wrong ideas, Potter,' she said and walked towards the vanity. 'Our elves were ordered not to wait up on us, so they expect me to go up to my bedroom straight away. Had I asked you into one of the parlours, they would've popped in and asked if we needed something. I didn't want them to see this.' She made a fluttering motion towards her face. 'My parents have enough on their plate with father's illness, I don't want them to worry about me.' She sat down on the stool in front of the vanity.

'You love them very much, don't you?' I asked and stepped next to her.

'They are my parents.' She tilted her head back and presented her face to me with closed eyes, like a child would present their scrubbed face to their mother for inspection.

My throat constricted, and I took in a sharp breath. I hadn't realised how far we'd come in our friendship. That kind of trust, so soon after she'd been abused by the man she'd planned to marry, humbled me and made me all fuzzy and warm inside at the same time.

'What are you waiting for?' she asked, her eyes still closed.

I reached out with my hand and took her chin between my fingers. Her skin was velvety soft and sent tiny tingles through my fingers and right into my veins. Merlin give she didn't notice the slight tremble of my hand. I slipped my wand in my hand and put its tip first onto the scabbed wound in the corner of her mouth, then waved it across the area of the bruise. The swelling and slight colouring faded, and Greengrass let out a soft sigh.

'That feels good.'

Heat shot into my face, I let go of her chin and stepped back, all of a sudden as self-conscious as my fifteen-year-old me with Cho in the Room of Requirement.

'There, all done.' Thank Merlin my voice didn't let on my confusion.

She opened her eyes and gave me a blinding smile, then turned around and inspected her face in the mirror. 'You've worked a miracle. Thank you, Healer Potter.'

'My pleasure, Madam Greengrass.'

We laughed, and she pulled the few remaining hairpins out of her hair and combed the long tresses with her fingers. Her eyes fell onto my shirt, and she gasped. 'Merlin, Potter, look at your shirt! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin it.'

I shrugged. 'I'll cast a Scrougify on it before I return to the ball.'

She scrunched up her nose. 'A Scrougify alone won't do. Here, let me help you, it's the least I can do.' She pulled out her wand and directed it at my chest.

As a rule, I don't react well to wands directed at me. Years as the favourite toy of a Dark Lord and Auror training will do that to you. Molly Weasley had learned the hard way never to point a wand at me and perform a household charm on me. Ginny, thankfully, was pants at all charms even remotely related to housework and never tried.

This time, however, it was different. Greengrass had excellent control over her charm, it grazed the surface of my shirt only and worked its magic. Yet there was something warm and comforting about her magic touching me, a feeling I'd never experienced before, and I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

'Now you can return to the ball without people giving you odd glances. I guess your fiancée is already looking for you.'

Her words hit me like a bucket of ice cold water. Ginny! I had forgotten about her.

I raised my shoddy Occlumency shields to hide my confusion and embarrassment from Greengrass and took my leave. On the way to the Apparition point of Cliffsend House I tried to remember where I'd last seen Ginny. She'd been by my side when Greengrass and Vaisey barged into the garage, and she'd kept rooted on the spot when I cast the Disarming Charm at Vaisey and then walked towards Greengrass. Had she still been there when I led Greengrass out of the garage to Apparate her home? Had I passed my own fiancée with another woman on my arm without realising it?

Even worse, had she seen Greengrass in my arms?

My stomach sank into a bottomless pit. What would Ginny think about my relationship with Greengrass? The worst, so much was sure. I had to find her and explain, however, I was pants at explaining things like that, and Ginny was a typical red-head and a Weasley down to the core, she'd hex first and ask questions later. Merlin give she wouldn't hex me in the middle of the ballroom.

_She'd __be well advised__ to doubt your intentions towards Greengrass, and you deserve everything you'll get,' _a tiny voice deep inside of me said as I turned on the spot to Apparate back to the ministry. I quenched it.

I entered the ministry through the garage doors and looked around in search of Ginny. Of course she wasn't there anymore, no witch in her own mind would've stayed in that dreary place to wait for her fiancé until he finished taking care of another woman. I took a deep breath to fortify myself for what I had coming and slipped back into the ballroom through the backdoor.

The party was in full swing, people danced, chatted and laughed, and everybody except me was having a good time. It gave me an eerie déjà vu of the Yule Ball in my fourth year at Hogwarts.

No matter how much I scanned the crowd for a sign of Ginny in her spectacular ball gown, I couldn't find her. After a few minutes I gave up and made my way to our table. I was lucky, Neville and Hannah had just returned from the dance floor to take a break. I sat down next to Neville.

His face brightened when he saw me. 'Harry! Where have you been? I haven't seen you for some time.'

'I didn't see Ginny, either. Have you been up to no good?' Hannah grinned and wriggled a playful finger at me.

'No, something came up, and I had to take care of that, and I had to leave the ball. There was no time for an explanation to Ginny and I can't find her.' I broke off, not sure how to go on without tangling myself up in a web of half- truths.

Hannah exchanged a look with Neville and shrugged. 'We haven't seen her for some time, not since you left the ballroom together. I doubt she's left though, she's engaged to an Auror, by now she should be used to emergencies getting into the way every time you're out to have some fun.' She picked up Neville's hand and pressed it with a conspiratorial wink.

'Right, love.' Neville said with a soft laugh, albeit his calculating gaze never left me.

I suppressed the urge to squirm in my seat. Neville was one of those quiet, unassuming men who never missed a thing. Had he picked up on something in my demeanour? Damn, he and Ginny had become close during their time leading the Hogwarts resistance, had she run to him after I left the garage with Greengrass on my arm?

Hannah excused herself to go to the restroom, and Neville lost no time.

'There's something you need to know, Harry.' A grim line appeared around his mouth, and my heart sank. It was one thing to tell myself I'd acted like a cad towards Ginny when I left her standing there to take care of Greengrass, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear that from one of my best friends, too.

'You need to talk to Ginny about your plans, she deserves to know everything.'

'Huh?' That wasn't what I had expected.

'When I danced with Ginny, I had the impression she had no idea about all of this.' He made a gesture with his hand that included the whole ballroom.

I still had no idea what he was talking about and probably gaped at him.

Neville sighed. 'When I danced with her, she was pale and subdued, so I asked her what was wrong. She said she had no idea about the man you'd become, about your ambition to change the magical world. She said you never talked to her about that.'

I startled and my neck and face became uncomfortably hot. That wasn't true! I _had _talked to Ginny about my dreams and plans whenever there was a moment left for that. Unfortunately, these moments were scarce. We had so little time together, and what time there was, we spent in our bedroom. The heat on my neck and my face intensified. Not that I was complaining about that. When we talked, it was mostly about Ginny, her games and her prospects. We were engaged, so I was supposed to be supportive of her career, wasn't I? My life outside of the confines of Grimmauld Place always seemed to take a backseat compared to Ginny's needs and ambitions, and that was all right with me. Her Quidditch career would last for a few short years only, so she had to make the most of them. We were planning on getting married next September and would probably start our family soon after that -.

'You've got a problem, no two, to be honest.' Neville's voice broke into my thoughts like the bell of doom.

I grimaced. 'That is?'

'She doesn't seem to like you spending so much time with Greengrass.'

'There's nothing between Greengrass and me.' My defense came much too quickly and much too vehement.

Neville gave me a strange look. 'It's not me you must convince of that.'

I decided to ignore his look and not take the bait. 'And what is the second problem?'

'Ginny seemed to be rather overwhelmed by tonight. It seems she had no idea about the connections you'd made at the ministry, and how involved you are into ministry and Wizengamot politics.'

My stomach tightened and my neck became warm. She had no idea? Well, she would have, had she really listened to me the few times we talked about my goals and ambitions. Come to think of it, she had dismissed them rather as unattainable, and she hadn't been thrilled about my prospects for a promotion, either.

I got up and put a hand on Neville's shoulder. 'Thanks for telling me, mate. I'd better find Ginny and talk to her.'

I made another slow round through the ballroom and looked out for Ginny, while I stopped every so often to have small talk with ministry department heads and members of the Wizengamot. Another twenty minutes passed without a sign of Ginny until I was sure she had left without telling anyone.

Again, my neck became uncomfortably warm. What had she been thinking? She knew how important tonight was for me, after all I'd told her about my plans to socialise more to further my career. Whilst I had to give her I'd treated her badly when I left her standing in the garage, her reaction to run away seemed somewhat… childish.

Greengrass never would've acted like that, so much was sure. In Ginny's stead she would've given me a piece of her mind as soon as we were alone and probably would've emphasised her words with the help of her wand, but she never would've run away and let the whole party know we had a quarrel.

I sighed. Why couldn't Ginny have some more of Greengrass's good breeding and self-control instead of her horrible Weasley temper?

My stomach dropped, and I shook my head about myself. I was being unfair towards Ginny, her funny, rash temper and the way she enjoyed life to the fullest was what had me drawn to her and still fascinated me. As soon as she'd eased into the obligations that came with my new position in the ministry, she'd learn how to control her temper.

_If she wants to, _the small voice in my head said as I Disapperated from the Apparition point in the ministry.

I crossed Grimmauld Place with a few, long strides, let myself into the house and rushed up the stairs to our bedroom.

Ginny's gown lay on the floor, a heap of gleaming golden silk. The bed, however, was empty. I let out a deep breath, and a weight lifted from my chest. At least she was at home and hadn't run off to Merlin knew where.

I stripped off my evening robes and the vest and tie and then rushed downstairs in search of my fiancée. On my way I peeked into the living room; it was empty, so I continued to the kitchen and yanked the door open.

She huddled in a chair near the window, her legs drawn up, and a mug cradled between her hands. I let out another deep breath of relief.

She turned her face towards me, the colour of her cheeks was deeper than usual, and there was a belligerent sparkle in her eyes. So, she wanted a fight? Yes, I'd treated her badly, however, she shouldn't have ran away in a fit of jealousy, either. I was feeling bad enough about my actions that night to be on the defensive, so I picked up the gauntlet instead to apologise and work to the bottom of our problems, as I should have.

In hindsight, that was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

My face hardened, and I glared at her. 'Care to tell me what that was about, Ginny? One moment I take care of Greengrass, and when I look around, you're gone. I searched for you all over the place.'

Her glare matched mine as she straightened in her chair. 'You seemed rather occupied when you took care of Greengrass. I didn't want to come between that.'

Her voice sounded as petulant as that of a small child, as always when things didn't go her way. Ginny had grown up as the only girl among six brothers who all had adored her and catered to her whims. I have no idea if she was aware of that, but deep down she expected from me the same kind of adoration. As a rule I went along, I cherished what we had too much to jeopardise it, and it was a small price to pay for the happiness she gave me.

Tonight, however, for a reason I couldn't fathom right away, I wasn't inclined to play along. Truth be told I was rather fed up with her childish ways. I gritted my teeth and gave her another hard stare. 'You're making a mountain out of a molehill, Ginny. Greengrass is a coworker and a friend, nothing more. I comforted her like I'd have comforted Hermione if she had broken up with Ron.'

A jolt seemed to go through her, she put the mug on the windowsill, stood up, and walked towards me, her head held high and her eyes shooting daggers at me.

I suppressed a sigh. I should've known my words were like adding fuel to an open flame, and I wished I'd had the good sense to grovel instead of picking up the fight she wanted. Well, it was too late for that.

She came to a halt in front of me. 'No, you didn't, Harry.'

'Huh? What are you talking about?'

She flashed me another annoyed look. 'Hermione and I had long talks about what happened while you were on the run. It helped her cope, I think, and it helped me to understand you, since you didn't talk much to me about this time. One thing she mentioned over and over again was the way how all communication seemed to have dried up between you and her the moment Ron left. You didn't turn to each other; Hermione said you withdrew into yourself and there were days you didn't talk at all. You never took her in your arms and comforted her the way you comforted Greengrass tonight.'

The volume of her voice rose with each sentence, and I almost recoiled from her.

She was right, of course.

I walked past her into the room, leaned my back against the kitchen counter, crossed my legs, and folded my arms in front of my chest, my hands tucked in my armpits. 'That was different. I was different back then. There was so much pressure on me…'

I trailed off and stared ahead, while I tried to find the right words. How could I explain how much the sense of normalcy she gave me meant to me? She had come into my life at a time when the war was taking a downward spiral and I fully knew of the role I had to play in Voldemort's downfall. She was like a ray of sunshine on a dreary day, when I was with her I felt like an ordinary teenager for the first time in my life. Our moments together had been too precious to spoil them with depressing talks about the war and my destiny.

After the Battle of Hogwarts, when we got back together, I never wanted to spoil our happiness with the bad memories. We always had so little time together, still hardly saw each other, even though we lived together, how could I damage our precious moments by bringing up my wretched life?

I opened my mouth to somehow explain, no matter how inadequate my words would be, but decided otherwise. I've always been pants at explaining my feelings. It would probably come out all wrong and make her even more angry, anyway. So all I said was, 'I grew up since then, at least a little. I comforted you in the same way at Fred's funeral.'

She startled and gave me an unfathomable look.

My heart sank into the deepest pit of my stomach. Apparently, that had also been the wrong thing to say. Why by Merlin's beard didn't I keep my mouth shut and let her vent out her frustration? She would've been calmer afterwards, and the storm would've been over. As it was, I'd just prolonged our fight. I braced myself for what would come.

'You know, that somehow confirms my assumptions about you and Greengrass.'

'Huh?' What had my overdue emotional development to do with Greengrass?

She pressed her hands together, her eyes burning. 'It's not only that, Harry. You seem to know quite a lot about her private life.'

Was she jealous of Greengrass? That couldn't be, she had to know how much she meant to me, after all I spent each moment we had together showing her how much I cared, to make up for my lack of words. 'What by Merlin are you talking about, Ginny?'

'You told her she'd used Vaisey. That shows an intimate knowledge of their relationship. Greengrass doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who chats about relationship-problems with mere acquaintances. You two seem to know each other rather well, and she trusts you.'

That was easy enough to explain, if you spent as much time with someone late at night as I did with Greengrass, you were bound to talk, weren't you? 'Oh, that.' I ran a hand through my hair. 'Well, I suppose you're right with that. We spent a lot of time together during the past three years. Setting up test series and watching them while you wait for the results can be rather boring, you know, and we talked about this and that.'

She raised an eyebrow. 'About relationships?'

Damn, why did she have to be that distrustful? 'No, not exactly. Though I might have mentioned two or three times how much I missed you.' I smiled at her in an attempt to soothe her and shifted my position. 'Look, I won't talk to you about something Greengrass told me in confidence, Ginny. There's nothing between her and me you need to worry about. She's just a friend, like Hermione.'

She said nothing in return, but gave me a sharp glance.

I met her eyes upfront. Why by Merlin's saggy underpants was she being so difficult? We were engaged for over three years and planning our wedding for the upcoming year, by now she should know I wasn't the kind of guy who'd fool around.

The silence between us stretched, almost uncomfortable, and I had to rely on my paltry occlumency shields not to squirm under her scrutinising glance and make her even more suspicious.

At length, she broke the silence. 'Why did you never tell me about the plans you made with Neville, Ron, Hermione, Greengrass, and Merlin knows who else? I felt pretty foolish tonight when Neville talked to me about them, and I had to admit I had no idea.'

Heat shot into my face. That was rich, how did she dare to accuse me I'd kept her in the dark when she somehow always made clear she wasn't interested in my ideas and plans on the few occasions when we talked about my job? 'I told you when we talked about me becoming Robards' successor. After all, I asked you to be the hostess for the manoeuvring behind the scenes I must do.'

'Yes, but you didn't tell me everything, Harry. Everyone knew, Neville, Ron, Hermione, Percy… even Greengrass. Everyone, except me. Do you have an idea how that made me feel?'

My stomach dropped, I slumped, stuffed my hands into my pockets, and averted my eyes. She had a point, I should've tried harder to explain my goals to her. 'I'm sorry, Ginny, I didn't mean to hurt you, it's just -'

A shrill buzz, coming from the pocket of my trousers, interrupted me.

'All Auror Alert! All Auror Alert! This is not a test. All Auror Alert!'

'Fuck!' Why did these alarms always had to occur when you were immersed in other important problems?

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a flat, round device, much like the fake Galleons Hermione had made for the D.A.. In fact, Hermione's D.A. galleons had given me the idea for this device, and Greengrass and I had spent the better part of last summer on its development.

I tipped my wand to the device. The infernal buzzing stopped, and I stuffed the device back in my pocket, pushed myself off the counter and turned to the door. All Auror Alert meant I had to appear at the department immediately. Already halfway out, I looked over my shoulder. 'I'm sorry, Ginny, we'll talk when I'm back.'

She gaped after me.

I turned my head around and hurried up the stairs to the entrance hall, taking two steps at a time. While the alarm had come at the worst possible moment, there seemed to be an avalanche going off my chest, and I took a deep breath, glad I could escape our uncomfortable conversation.

t.b.c.


	2. Chapter 2

I Apparated into the utter chaos of an All Auror alert. Well, at least it had to seem so to anyone not familiar with the inner workings of the Auror Department. The open office area with the small individual cubicles teemed with dozens of Aurors, most of them already in full uniform, quite a lot of them, like me, still in civil garb, studying papers, getting their gear ready, or just talking to their co-Aurors. The two fireplaces of the department flashed in short succession and spilled out even more Aurors who'd reacted to the alert.

Ron was one of them, he gave me a short nod as he stepped out of the Floo and hurried to find his training supervisor. I let out a low whistle, whatever was going on had to be big that Robards called in even the trainee Aurors.

I left the Apparition Point not a second too soon, the telltale crack of another Apparition sounded and Neville materialised in front of me, still in all of his ball finery.

'What's up?' he asked as he stepped beside me to make room for the next Auror Apparating in. He wore a small frown on his face, clearly he wasn't happy that his night out with Hannah had been interrupted.

'I've no idea, I arrived right before you.' I motioned with my chin to Robards' wide open office door. Aurors went in and out to get their orders, paperplane-memos zooming over their heads, and among the gaggle of bodies I caught a glimpse of Robards standing next to his desk, bent over what seemed to be a map, and barking out orders. 'We need to report, anyway, I'm sure we'll learn what's going on then.'

We fought our way through the stream of busy Aurors towards Robards' office. He looked up when we entered and straightened. His glance swept from me to Neville and came to rest on Neville's dress robes of finest Arcromantula silk. 'Ah, the department's very own lounge lizards,' he said with a grin. 'Sorry to disturb your fun, but we have an opportunity at hand we can't miss.' He pointed towards the map on his desk which on a second glance turned out to be a floor plan. 'About thirty minutes ago we got news of suspicious activities going on in a Muggle warehouse on the outskirts of Birmingham. I sent a team to investigate, they came under heavy spell fire as soon as they arrived. It seems we've stumbled upon the hiding place of the Lestranges per accident.'

Neville paled and took a sharp breath. The next second he squared his shoulders. 'Trainee Auror Longbottom reports for duty, sir. I want to be part of the attack squad.'

'I thought as much,' Robards said with a sigh. 'Sorry, Longbottom, but you and Potter will man the department tonight. I can smell the alcohol in both of your breaths, it would be irresponsible to put you in the line of fire tonight.'

Neville became rigid. 'I didn't have that much!'

Neither had I, and I also would've loved to get my hands on the bastards, but I could see Robards' point and I knew the rules.

Robards' face hardened. 'You know the rules, Trainee Auror Longbottom, and you've got your orders.'

Neville slumped. 'Yes, sir, I'm sorry, sir.'

Robards gave him a curt nod to show he bore no ill will, then motioned us to step closer. The next five minutes he explained the location, the spot where the Lestranges were supposed to be hiding in that maze of a warehouse, and the locations where he planned the Auror squads to Portkey in. It soon became apparent to me he expected me to hold his place while he went into the field with the attack squads, and deal with anything that might come up in the rest of magical Britain while my co-Aurors were chasing the big guys.

My heartbeat sped up, this was the first time I had a position of high responsibility within the Auror department, and I was looking forward to it, provided there wouldn't be another emergency of that dimensions tonight. In that case I'd be screwed beyond imagination.

Robards gave me a knowing smile, and then sent Neville and me to power the necessary Portkeys, as the small staff that manned the Portkey Department tonight was out of their depth by the sheer number of Portkeys required within short notice.

About ten minutes later the attack squads all had Portkeyed out, and something akin to quiet settled in. I sent the Aurors who'd remained at the department as back-up forces if necessary to the bunk rooms, and turned to Neville. 'You'd also better catch some sleep, mate. Merlin knows how long the night will be, you can take over from me in a couple of hours.'

Neville nodded and vanished into the direction of the bunk rooms with a small wave at me.

I settled down in front of the huge magical map of the British Islands. Pulsating red lights on that map would alert me of bouts of magic big enough to warrant an Auror investigation. Right now, there was only one such light pulsating at the northern outskirts of Birmingham, the rest of the country was dark, thank Merlin. That might change later in the night, when the New Year's celebrations got out of hand due to too much alcohol.

I looked at my wristwatch, we still had an hour until midnight. With everything that had been going on tonight I'd thought it was already later. I pulled a stack of case files towards me and set to work. Like all Aurors I was always behind with the necessary parchment work, so I might as well catch up while I was watching the department, that would keep me awake and as an added benefit would take my thoughts off the uncomfortable conversation with Ginny.

Nothing disturbed the silence of the Auror Department but the scratching of my quill and the soft ticking of the clock over the entrance door behind me. I almost jumped out of my skin when someone cleared their throat behind me, and whirled around in my chair.

Greengrass stood in the door. Her face, free of any make-up, was still pale, and she'd brushed her hair back and tied it into a low ponytail at the nape of her neck. She wore her grey Unspeakable robes open over a thick, knitted sweater and faded jeans, a sure sign she was also on duty.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.' She walked into the room, took a chair from one of the adjoining desks, and sat down beside me. 'I couldn't sleep, so I was hoping Robards had ordered you to stay behind and I'd have someone to help me kill time until I'm needed.'

'Be my guest.' I put the quill down I was still holding and gestured towards her robes with my free hand. 'Don't tell me Croaker put you on stand-by tonight, he had to know you had to attend to the ball.'

She gave me a wry smile. 'Then I won't. You know how he is.'

'Didn't you apply for leave over the Christmas holidays and New Year?'

'It got denied.'

'What an arsehole.'

'Language, Potter.'

That was accompanied by a small chuckle, so her words didn't faze me at all.

I don't know how many times she'd complained to me about the head of the Department of Mysteries, Algernon Croaker. The brother of Augusta Longbottom and Neville's great uncle was an upstanding member of the light side, the magical world owed him for keeping Voldemort's Death Eater puppets out of the department when the ministry fell, at great costs to the number of the Unspeakables. Next to the Auror Department they had suffered the most losses.

After the war Croaker somehow had to replenish the numbers, and he'd been forced to admit apprentices he rather wouldn't have. Draco was one of them, Greengrass another. As a result, he tormented them whenever he could, maybe Greengrass even more than Draco, if that was possible.

She shrugged. 'By now he should know he can't get to me. Anyway, he'll be retired in two years. There's hope the next head will be better.'

We fell into a comfortable silence.

I picked up my quill again and continued my parchment work, although I had a hard time to concentrate on the job. My eyes drifted to Greengrass on their own accord. How did she cope with today's events?

Her head bent down, she rubbed the place on her left hand where her engagement ring had been, deep in thought. As if she felt my gaze on her, she turned her head and gave me a small, upturned smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

'I'm sorry, Greengrass. You must be heartbroken, and his betrayal probably hurts.'

She jerked her head up, there was a pugnacious sparkle in her eyes. 'Neither, nor, Potter, if anything, I'm mad at myself I fell for his tricks. I should've listened to you when you voiced your concerns against that engagement.'

'I was rather out of line when I told you not to marry him.'

'Nevertheless listening to you would have spared me a lot.' She lowered her head, as if ashamed. 'Tonight was not the first time he hit me, you know.'

Deep inside of me the walls around that tiny boiling spot cracked again. How dare he? I'd been much too easy on Vaisey back in the garage, I should've followed my instincts and cursed him to smithereens. My hand tightened around the quill until it broke into two halves. The soft cracking sound brought me back to my senses. 'What an arsehole,' I said, hoping my voice didn't betray my fury.

She raised her head and gave me a look I couldn't fathom, there was sadness and regret in her eyes, mixed with a lot of determination, and a tiny spark of hope and - amusement? Where was the fun in her situation?

Greengrass didn't let me ponder on that thought. 'Yeah, you're right; I've screwed up royally when I accepted Aaron's proposal, but I'd be damned if I let myself being dragged down by that. I'm more determined than ever to follow our plans. Next time, however, I'll think twice before I'll accept another proposal. I don't intend to be used another time.'

My stomach made an uncomfortable flip at that. She couldn't be serious, could she? She'd had a narrow escape with Vaisey, heaven only knew what she'd drag ashore the next time. She couldn't do that to me, I'd forever be concerned for her safety… But of course that wasn't my business, she was a big girl and could take care of herself - most of the time. Merlin give she didn't realise my silent reservations, it would make her even more determined to follow through with her plans, as headstrong as she was.

So I merely raised an eyebrow at her. 'Next time? My, you're fast, Miss Greengrass! You just got rid of one fiancé and are already contemplating the next? Anyone special on your mind? I feel like I should warn the poor bloke.'

'Prat!'

I grinned and reached for a new quill to continue my paperwork.

'I hope your fiancée didn't give you a hard time because you deserted her after the little encounter in the Ministry's garage.'

My stomach lurched, I'd forgotten all about my quarrel with Ginny over my talk to Greengrass, and her remark was like a fist into my guts. I opened my mouth to deny any problems between Ginny and me, she'd probably asked only out of a sense of politeness, anyway. Something in my expression must have given me away, however.

She raised her head ever so slightly, her brows knitted into an infinitesimal frown, and her gaze became intense as if she was trying to perform Legilimency on me. Which she didn't, by now I'd learned to identify the telltale tug on my awareness that was the sign of a master Legilimens, and that never came as Greengrass looked at me. She didn't need to resort to Legilimency, it turned out she knew me well enough to read me.

'You fought.' It was a statement, not a question.

I put the quill back and sighed. 'Yes, we fought.'

'Want to talk about it to get it out of your system? I've been told I'm a good listener.'

The corners of my mouth quirked up at that. I'd told her that one night not so long ago, when we ended talking about some of our experiences during the war. It was easy to talk to her, she always gave me the impression to be genuinely interested into anything I said, and never brushed my thoughts and ideas off as nonsense or doomed to fail right from the beginning. She'd point out flaws, yes, but she'd also make suggestions and give good advice how to bring my ideas into reality. Actually, she somehow had become the only one I felt safe to discuss my half-baked ideas with without being afraid to embarrass myself.

Yet, talking to her about my relationship with Ginny was a new development. To be honest, there was no other one I could talk to and who'd give me honest advice. Ron and Hermione both were too close to Ginny, and the same was true for Neville, who'd become one of Ginny's best friends during the year they were held hostage at Hogwarts.

I took a deep breath. 'You're right, she wasn't happy with me when I returned home. I… I think she's jealous… Of you.'

Greengrass didn't bat an eyelid. 'Well, that's not surprising. After all, we spend an awful lot of time together, and you left her standing there to take care of me. It's an understandable reaction, I'd say.'

'She's got no reason. Merlin, we're together ever since I was sixteen, that year on the run doesn't count, we both didn't want to break up. By now she should know I'm not the kind of guy to mess around.'

'No, you aren't.' Was there a trace of wistfulness in Greengrass' voice? No, I must be mistaken.

She tilted her head to the side. 'Tell me, Potter, what do you see in her? While I wasn't surprised you got together at Hogwarts, I never would've thought you'd last this long.'

My stomach fluttered, and I stiffened. Why would she think that?

My surprise must have shown on my face, for her cheeks pinked and she gave a small laugh.

'Of course it's not my place to pry, but I've always been curious. At Hogwarts, you were both hormonal teenagers who had a lot in common: school, Quidditch, you were in the same house, and you both were fighting against Voldemort. That gave you a common ground and a shared purpose. After the Battle of Hogwarts, however, you seemed to drift into different directions, at least on the outside. You joined the Aurors, Ginny returned to school and became a Harpy afterwards. You're both ambitious and put a lot of energy into your careers. As a downside, you hardly have time for each other. I think tonight is the first time you've made an appearance together in the magical world. So, tell me, what's the glue that keeps you together?'

My face became warm, and I averted my eyes. Merlin, I hated in-depth soul-searching questions. Yet Greengrass had a point, I'd always taken it as a granted fact that Ginny and I would spend the rest of our lives together, happily ever after, as the saying goes. Ginny's behaviour tonight showed she wasn't that happy with me at the moment and seemed to have been missing something in our relationship for quite some time now. What if she was right? Was our relationship not the fairy tale I'd thought it to be? Was it going to fall apart at the seams?

I listened into myself and waited for the gut-wrenching pain I'd experienced during my time on the run whenever I saw Ginny's dot on the Marauder's Map next to Neville's and was afraid I'd lose her to someone else.

It never came. The thought of a break-up with Ginny was by no means pleasant, but not as devastating as it used to be. Was it because I had learned to trust in the strength of our bond and was sure we wouldn't fail? Or was it a first sign that my bond with Ginny was fraying at the edges? I tugged at my collar.

'Uh…, actually, I never thought about that.' I paused. Why was it so hard to find the words to express my feelings? Or weren't the right words my problem? Maybe my problem was that I'd never thought about my feelings? Maybe it was time to take stock of my feelings before Ginny and I took the ultimative step next year? After all, magical vows couldn't be undone as easily as a Muggle divorce.

'My time with Ginny at Hogwarts… It was the happiest I've ever been in my life. In fact, I once told Ginny that it felt like another one's life. My home life wasn't good, I guess you've gathered that much by now from the little I told you about that.'

Greengrass nodded at that.

'Being with Ginny… For the first time in my life I felt loved, you know? And I loved her for that. I missed her terribly during the year I was on the run. After the war… There was so much grief and pain, and when Ginny and I got back together, she was once again the only bright spot in my life.'

'That's understandable. How did your relationship progress from there? You might tell me if that's too personal a question.'

Heat shot into my face as the memory of Ginny's and my first time flooded back. 'Uhm… I guess the normal way.'

She rolled her eyes at me. 'I wasn't talking about your hormone induced explorations of each other, Potter. I've had my share of awkward fumbling and don't need a report of your experiences on top of that.'

I snorted, and she gave me a quick smile to take the sting out of her words.

'No, I want to know how you developed as a couple. What do you have in common? How do you organise your life together? What are you doing for fun?'

I almost gaped at her while I considered her words. That was a good question.

I let my time with Ginny pass in front of my inner eye.

There was our short vacation to France; Ginny had loved exploring the small, picturesque villages, especially the many shops that sold to tourists. I could have done without the latter, there were so many other things to do. It had caused some slight friction between us, and I'd given in to Ginny's wishes to keep the peace.

I'd also tried to explain my research to her, she'd asked, but I soon found out that her interest seemed to have been perfunctory at best and a question out of politeness at worst: she barely listened, didn't seem to understand a word, and told me at the end, with an dismissive shrug of her shoulders, that I'd fail anyway, the wizarding world wasn't interested in developments that came from the Muggle world.

It had hurt; I'd pushed the hurt away. She was entitled to her opinion, as I was to mine, and time would show who of us had been right. Such a little difference in opinion didn't matter, considering how happy she made me, did it?

We returned to England, and our respective responsibilities soon took over. We both had long days, and on most nights we just crawled into bed, too tired even for some cuddling. Ginny had games on most weekends of the year, on the orders of her trainer she'd stay at the Harpie's facilities the night before a game, attend to the mandatory get-together after the game, and wouldn't return before late Sunday morning, provided the game didn't last late into the night. Then she'd return sometime Monday morning, when I was already off to work.

I wasn't much better. Even though Ginny's schedule was predictable over the week and we probably could have had dinner and an evening together from Tuesday to Thursday, I spent most of my evenings after finishing time in the Department of Mysteries. Together with Greengrass I worked on new developments for the Auror department that would help us catching the Death Eaters still on the run and would hopefully give us a permanent advantage over the crooks we had to deal with on a daily base. The few times I wasn't in the DoM, our little group met either at Shell Cottage or at Ron and Hermione's flat to discuss upcoming legislation, or changes we'd like to implement on the ministry's administration.

If I was honest with myself, the answer to Greengrass' first question had to be "Not much, if anything at all."

It must have shown on my face, for she put her hand on my arm in a comforting gesture. The warmth of her hand permeated the thin fabric of my dress shirt, and my skin beneath tingled in a most pleasant way.

'You'll work it out, I'm sure,' she said and pulled her hand away.

At once, I felt bereft.

Greengrass stifled a yawn. 'I think I'm now tired enough for a short nap before hell breaks loose.' She got up, gave me a small wave, and slipped out of the door.

I stared after her, still trying to wrap my head around what her questions had forced me to discover about Ginny and myself.

* * *

The damned All Auror Alert lasted more than forty-eight hours. Soon after Greengrass had left, things became hectic, first with the typical transgressions that were to be expected early on New Years Day, then with the major Auror operation in Birmingham going south quicker than a Wronski Feint.

With Neville's help I dispatched small teams of two Aurors to the many little bright spots that burst out all over the map of the British Islands, and locked the always drunk and more than once belligerent wizards and witches they brought back into the holding cells. Early on New Years Day Robards decided to enter the warehouse, a decision that proved fatal for more than one Auror and a group of unsuspecting Muggle who passed by. Soon, news about the first casualties came in. I sent Neville and Greengrass and her team to St Mungo's, Neville to make sure our men got the best care magic could provide, Greengrass to secure possible evidence on the bodies of the injured.

The attack soon turned into a hostage situation, Merlin knew how the Lestrange brothers and the yet unidentified Death Eaters in their company got hold of a group of eight Muggles on their way to church, but they did. Robards ordered our men to retreat; that was the beginning of a besiegement that lasted all through New Years Day and until late in the evening of the Sunday that followed New Years Day.

In the end, ten Aurors were injured by dark spells, two didn't make it. None of the Muggles left the warehouse alive.

The press got wind that something was going on sometime during New Years Day and laid their own kind of siege to the Auror department. I dealt with them to my best abilities, although I could have done without the extra headache they gave me.

There was no time for another talk to Greengrass about my relationship with Ginny. I had more important things to deal with, and I forced Ginny and our problems into the deepest recesses of my mind until I had dealt with the crisis at hand.

The teams returned early on Monday morning, battle-worn and depressed by the outcome. The Lestranges and their allies had escaped yet another time. I sent them home for some much needed rest and left the department in Neville's capable hands, since Robards had ordered me to the crime scene to take his place, while he was dealing with Kingsley and the press hyaenas snapping his heels for the disastrous outcome of the operation.

I Apparated in front of the warehouse and took a look. It was still dark outside, but magical imitations of Muggle headlights cast a bright light onto the place. It was another of Greengrass' and my developments, and damned useful whenever we had to investigate a crime scene in a Muggle area.

Black scorch marks scattered close to each other on the grey tarmac in front of the warehouse told of the fierce battle that had happened here not even two hours ago. I entered the warehouse in search of Greengrass and her team.

'Greengrass?' I called.

'Up here,' came her voice from somewhere above.

I took the stairs to the next storey and stepped into a vast stockroom. Headlights lightened the room as bright as daylight, and in the glaring light Greengrass and her team worked on the remains of the unfortunate Muggles. One look at the crime scene made me thankful that my stomach was empty. I'd seen a lot ever since I'd joined the Aurors, but it seemed escalations were always possible. I closed my eyes and gulped.

When I opened my eyes again, Greengrass stood beside me.

'Not a nice sight,' she said, and pulled off the latex gloves she wore.

'You can say that again. How many victims?'

'Eight, I think, given the foul bastards didn't Vanish some of the remains. I'll be able to tell you more as soon as I've got the healer's report and I've examined the swabs we took for DNA.'

I turned my back on the carnage in front of me and rubbed my face with one hand. My eyes stung with tiredness.

Greengrass gave me an understanding smile, although it was rather tense. 'You'll catch these animals and bring them to justice, Potter.' Her voice was low, yet the confidence in my abilities was palpable.

I gave her a small smile in return, that ego boost was much needed right now. All of a sudden I had the overwhelming desire to pull her in my arms, rest my head on top of hers, and let her soothe away the agony and despair that came with a completely botched up operation.

Merlin, what was wrong with me? Since when did I think of Greengrass like this? I shook my head to force the inappropriate thoughts away and concentrated on the task at hand. 'What I like to know is how these bastards managed to get hold of the Muggles. They were surrounded by Aurors, how could they get out and capture them? By the looks of it, they spent a great deal of their time torturing and killing the poor Muggles, while simultaneously fighting our men. How was that possible? I've seen the scorch marks on the tarmac, the fight was long and fierce. Do the Lestranges have a bloody army? And lastly, how did they escape? Weren't there any Anti-Apparition Wards in place?'

'The wards failed.' Greengrass answered my last question first. 'I've already talked to Robards about it. As per standard procedure, he had one of his men set them up as soon as the squads arrived, and then they took turns to maintain the wards.' She made a sweeping motion that included the whole building. 'You saw how big this place is, any Anti-Apparition Ward would be stretched thin, and a chain is only as strong as the weakest link. My guess is whoever maintained the wards at the end was already close to magical exhaustion and got overpowered by a lucky Ward Demolishing Charm.'

That made sense, holding up the Anti-Apparition Wards for as long as an operation lasted always posed a problem, especially during operations that lasted longer than anticipated and bound a lot of wizard-power. If there only was a way to work around that…

As if she'd read my thoughts, Greengrass put her hand on my arm. 'We'll work on that. Maybe we should look into portable Runestones, they could be used to draw power from the ambient magic.'

'Sounds good.' I looked down on her, this time with a real smile. Warmth permeated me where her hand touched my arm, and some of the horrors of the night faded away.

* * *

I returned to Grimmauld Place late on Monday night, tore off the meanwhile grubby dress shirt and dress pants I'd worn ever since the ball, and crawled between the bedsheets in my boxers. I was sound asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

When I woke up on Tuesday morning, the grey light of a London winter morning seeped through a small gap between the curtains, telling me that it had to be past eight a.m. already. Ginny left the house for the Harpie's training grounds not later than eight in the morning, so I wouldn't see her before I had to return to the department. I stretched and suppressed the relief that thought brought. She'd want to continue where we'd been interrupted by the All Auror Alert on New Year's Eve, however, I was not yet in the mood to deal with our personal problems that seemed insignificant compared to the horrors of the Death Eater attack in Birmingham. Any talk to Ginny would end in another fight right now.

I took a long shower and then indulged in a full English breakfast, courtesy of Kreacher, who watched over me like a mother-hen and and made sure I ate everything.

Another long day at the department followed. Kingsley was grilled by the press for the outcome of the Birmingham Disaster, as they called it, and as a result was not happy with Robards. My co-Aurors still were tired, depressed, and angry, and we all could have done without the additional stress added by the press and Kingsley. Nerves were raw, and more than once I had to step in and break up small squabbles that flared up all over the department.

It was not the first time I thought we needed some kind of counselling after operations like the last one. Today was another proof how badly that was needed to get back on track and concentrate on what was necessary. I had to talk to Greengrass about that.

After work I went down to the Department of Mysteries. I'd got the magical equivalent of a pass to enter the sacred halls a long time ago, and meanwhile I could have made my way through the circulating doors and the maze of magical laboratories blindfolded.

Greengrass wasn't in her laboratory in the subdivision for Magical Development.

My stomach clenched, and my shoulders sagged. I'd counted on talking to her tonight and alleviate some of my worries more than I had realised.

'Are you looking for Daphne?'

Draco's voice made me turn around.

He stood leaned against the wall to Greengrass' laboratory with one shoulder, the hands in the pockets of his grey robes.

'Yeah, I've been hoping to talk to her about a few ideas that botched up operation gave me. Where is she?'

'Still busy in the forensic laboratory, examining the swabs of the poor Muggle blokes who got killed for their DNA. Never saw a mess like that.' A dark shadow flickered across his pale face.

I knew what had caused that shadow, I sat through every single minute of the trial he had to face for his part in the war. It had been enlightening: I'd thought I knew everything about his involvement, especially how he'd been forced to attempt to kill Dumbledore so that Voldemort would spare his parents, how much he loathed to be the one to actually enforce torture and death on his victims, and yet how his twisted mind enjoyed to edge others on and believed in the values of Pureblood Supremacy.

Turned out I only knew half of the cruelties he'd been forced to witness while Voldemort was a guest in his parents' house, and how much of an eye-opener that had been for him.

There was no doubt he would've gone with the flow had Voldemort won the war, he was a Slytherin, and saving his own hide was deeply ingrained in him. Yet the Draco after the Battle of Hogwarts was a changed man. By some miracle - and my intervention for Narcissa's sake - he had escaped Azkaban and got away with probation. He'd made the most of it, much to Croaker's resentment he'd been allowed to join the Unspeakables, and he'd been the first to support me when I'd asked them to come up with magical equivalents of Muggle technologies that made the work of an Auror so much easier. He'd also been the one who got the unbelievably gifted Miss Greengrass on board.

That brought me back to the reason why I had gone to her office. 'Any idea when she will be finished?'

'Sometime late this night, or rather early next morning. You know how Daphne is, she won't rest until she has done her part in catching those who are responsible for that senseless murder.'

Did I know that! I'd spent time enough in her laboratory watching her examining evidence and discussing her findings. Greengrass could become rather obsessed about her work, and I thought highly of her because of that.

Draco pushed himself off the wall. 'Got to get going, Tori's waiting for me. She's just recovering from another episode.'

Astoria Malfoy - although she preferred to be called Tori - was Draco's new wife and Greengrass' younger sister. I'd got to know her rather well over the last couple of years, and the difference between the Greengrass sisters never ceased to amaze me. Where the older sister was disciplined and ambitious, Tori was all fun and laughter, although by no means an airhead. Maybe it was due to the blood curse she was suffering from and that would kill her one day. The only similitude I had discovered between the sisters was their headstrongness: they were both used to get what they wanted; Greengrass wanted to make her way in the Department of Mysteries, and Tori was determined to live the short life she would have to the fullest.

'Give Tori my love, will you?'

'I'll tell her I met you, she'll probably invite you to dinner one of these days. What about next Saturday? Will you be at Andromeda's in the afternoon? It's about time we show Teddy some seeker moves on that toy broom we gave him for Yule.'

I snorted. 'Don't let Andromeda hear that! She wasn't happy with us for giving him that broom.'

'No, but she couldn't take it away once the little rascal had seen it, that would have been too cruel.' He gave me a small wave and walked away.

I grinned. Who would have thought that Draco Malfoy fell in love with the son of a werewolf and a Metamorphmagus the first time he set eyes on the tiny baby? And yet that's what had happened. After the war and Lucius Malfoy's long-time imprisonment in Azkaban, Narcissa Malfoy had reconciled with her only surviving sister. Little Teddy was included in the package.

Draco and I had bonded over our love for the little boy, as well as over our mutual goals at the ministry. We weren't best friends, but friends we had become, and I always enjoyed visiting with him and Tori when Ginny was away, playing for the Harpies. Greengrass was a frequent guest on those occasions, and the four of us had a lot of fun together.

I'd never told Ginny about these evenings, she'd developed a burning hatred of Lucius Malfoy after the incident with Voldemort's diary and her subsequent possession, and that hate transferred to the son. She wouldn't understand my friendship with the Malfoys, and given what she'd told me the night of the ball, it would only fuel her unfounded jealousy of Greengrass.

I walked out of Greengrass' laboratory and towards the forensic laboratory deep in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries. A small sign on the door read "Do not disturb", but I was certain it didn't pertain to me. I knocked and stuck my head into the room. 'Need any help?'

Greengrass' head whirled around, the deep frown on her face gave place to a genuine smile almost instantly. 'Actually, yes. My wretched brother-in-law left me to spend the evening with his wife.'

I snorted at that and stepped into the laboratory. 'You can't fool me, Greengrass, I know you sent him home because you're afraid that Tori will worry herself sick.'

She blushed, gave a small chuckle, and nodded. 'I can't help myself, she's my little sister, and I've always looked out for her. She loves the prat, so I sent him home to make her happy.'

'Knowing that you'll probably spend the whole night working on the swabs without the help of an assistant.' I slipped my wand into my hand. 'Where can I help?' I'd helped her with the examination of evidence many times in the past, and considered myself a halfway decent laboratory assistant by now.

Greengrass motioned with her chin towards a magically powered centrifuge in the corner of the laboratory. 'Take the samples out of the centrifuge and amplify them, please.'

I did as I was told. It was a dull, repetitive work, but it had to be done for Greengrass to have enough DNA material to work with. We worked for a couple of hours in a companionable silence, as we had done so many times before. The warmth of satisfaction spread in my chest: Greengrass and I were a good team, together we'd do our share to catch the monsters who'd brought so much pain and grief to Birmingham.

It never occurred to me back then that my peace of mind had nothing to do with the work, but everything with the young woman next to me.

* * *

I returned in the wee hours of the morning and tiptoed into our bedroom, mindful not to wake Ginny.

The curtains were drawn back, bright moonlight poured onto the empty bed.

I blinked. Where was Ginny? Was she still so upset about my behaviour at the ball and our fight that she chose to stay at the training facilities instead of returning home? I wouldn't put it past her, Ginny could hold a grudge for an unreasonable long time.

Anyway, there was nothing I could do about that at this unholy time of the night. If I was honest, I didn't want to, either. I'd had another long day, and I was knackered. I stripped off my clothes and went to bed, I'd deal with Ginny tomorrow.

Mindful of my resolution to work out things with Ginny, I left the department at a reasonable hour on Wednesday and Apparated to Grimmauld Place.

Ginny still wasn't home, so I threw some Floopowder into the fire of the kitchen fireplace and Floo-called Hermione.

'Harry!' She looked relieved when she saw me. 'How are you, all things considered?'

I grimaced. 'Ron told you about Birmingham?'

She nodded. 'Yes, he said it was a right mess, and that you've lost an Auror.'

'Two, actually. Dawlish succumbed to the unknown curse cast on him this afternoon. The news came in just as I was about to leave the department. Robards is visiting with his widow as we speak.'

'Oh no!' She covered her mouth with her hand, and her face creased in dismay.

That was one part of Robards' duties I wasn't looking forward to: in not even two years it would be my obligation to talk to the widows and children of those who had perished in the line of duty. I shook off the morose thought.

'Uh, Hermione, will you do me a favour?'

She smiled. 'Of course, Harry. What is it?'

'Can you call Ginny at the Harpies' training facilities for me? She didn't return last night.' My face went hot at that, and I didn't dare meet Hermione's eyes. She knew everything about my problems with the fanatical hero worship of the Harpies and their staff, and it wasn't the first time I asked her to call Ginny at the Harpies and convey a message from me for that reason. However, what did she think of my admission that Ginny didn't return home last night?'

Hermione gave a startled little noise. 'Harry, did you forget?'

My head jerked up. 'Forget what?'

'Ginny's in South Africa at the moment, at the annual winter training camp. She must have told you.'

She had. I gaped at Hermione; I'd forgotten about training camp.

Hermione bit her lip. 'Well, I guess it's not surprising you forgot, you had your hands full ever since New Year's Eve.'

'Yeah.' My voice sounded sheepish. 'Sorry to disturb you, Hermione. I'll send an owl to Ginny. Bye!'

'Bye.'

I pulled my head out of the fireplace, got up, and looked around. Had Ginny left a notice or maybe a letter for me? She usually did when she was away with the Harpies and we had no opportunity for a proper goodbye.

There was no letter on the kitchen table, so I went upstairs to the living room. It had a small bureau where Ginny usually did her correspondence, maybe she'd left a letter there.

No letter there, either.

I sunk down on the sofa, leaned back, and rubbed my face with both hands. So, Ginny still was mad at me, mad enough not to tell me goodbye.

Maybe I should write to her, try to explain what her presence in my life meant to me, and that I never wanted to destroy our happy bubble by dragging my work into it. Merlin knew the work of an Auror had too many ugly sides.

I straightened to get up and walk to the bureau.

My talk to Greengrass came back to my mind, and I sunk back into the sofa. Greengrass had forced me to take a look on Ginny's and my relationship, and it hadn't been pretty.

Ginny and I lived together, and we shared our bodies with each other, but we didn't share our dreams.

Yet we planned on getting married this summer.

I sighed, what kind of marriage would that be, considering that Ginny knew next to nothing about my dreams and ambitions, and, going by the fight we'd had before I had to leave because of the All Auror Alert, didn't like them very much? I'd counted on her being my partner and to support me, but what if she hated it?

No, it wouldn't do us any good if I wrote a I'm-sorry-please-be-good letter to her, we'd had too many superficial reconciliations in the past, this time we had to get to the bottom of our problems.

I had to learn to talk to Ginny, instead of talking to Greengrass.

My stomach twisted into a tight knot; I didn't want to lose Greengrass as a confidante, nobody understood what was driving me as completely as she did. Yet I couldn't have both, not with Ginny's jealousy of Greengrass. It would be a constant bone of contentment between us.

Merlin, what was I supposed to do?

t.b.c.


End file.
